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I'm glad I'm not a teenager.
(just a recycled one!) By Nigel

There is much wailing and gnashing of teeth in our society about teenage rebellion, teenage crime, teenage drunkenness, teenage pregnancy. Teenagers in general get a bad press for rudeness, knocking old people out of their way, dressing shabbily, grunting instead of talking and just about anything else we can throw at them. But then they are struggling with the hormone rushes and all the exams we make them do when really they should be sleeping all day, partying with their friends all night and being fed on demand in between!

How much of this do we as parents bring on ourselves?

My teenage years .... To read the rest of this go to our blog Teenage Discipline!

 

As children grow up. By Jenny

Children bring joy to a relationship and also cause extra pressure. They learn to manipulate situations to their own advantage and may play one parent off against another. Christmas is a classic time when they look for evidence of how much they are loved through the amount spent on presents. I’ve seen this carry on into adulthood, creating a rift between the parents and leading to behaviour patterns that are impossible to live with.'

I was talking to a group of business people about the external pressures that can bring stress to relationships. This obviously struck a chord with one of my colleagues who asked for a quiet chat about the effect his stepdaughter was having on his relationship with his wife.... To read the rest of this go to our blog

 

TIP OF THE MONTH
Connecting with your children

 

Although it seems that children - and especially teenagers - are ruling the roost, in reality it’s the adults who have all the resources. By comparison with our young people, our lives are relatively stable and our bodies, though perhaps not performing as well as they used to, are at least not subject to the perplexing and demanding nature of hormonal changes.  

 

All this means it is parents who need to make the effort to connect and stay connected. And there is one big change to make. When children are young the parental role is to give them information and advise them - responding to endless questions asking ‘Why?’   As they grow up, we must reduce the amount of talking we do and start LISTENING, really LISTENING, I mean TAKING AN INTEREST in the things that are important to them.

 

If yours is a busy household with lots of people coming and going, then think about how you can set aside quality time for the young person in your life. Here’s what Nigel and I did:

 

Once a week, we each took one of our children to a local café for a drink and dessert (having had dinner at home with the whole family).  Initially they just liked the treat. Then they grew to love the one on one time. We asked them to explain things to us - as if they were teaching us, which helped avoid giving them advice they hadn’t asked for. In this way we learnt about skateboarding, guitar riffs, computers and many other things. They on the other hand learnt they could talk to us about anything…

 

This established a pattern that has continued now they are young adults.  

 

 

 

   

 

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